How Lifer Pie Became Lifer Day

Aboard Tropic Paradise in the Torres Strait having Lifer Pie treat with James

I reckon it was in 2017 that I began stretching the tradition of Lifer Pie into a daylong event, Lifer Day. As life birds became fewer and farther between (by both time and distance), I thought that more of a celebration was in order. I began to take a day, often drinking a non-alcoholic beer or two while eating a lot of pistachios and writing. Often writing about the bird that I was celebrating. Then in the evening, I would have celebratory food, i.e. the traditional Lifer Pie.

My classic Lifer Day setup in my study. This was in January 2023 for Papuan Pitta.

My neurodivergent brain has great difficulty in actualising any accomplishment I make. I was also raised to feel that I did not deserve to celebrate anything that I did. It was all just expected. Nothing was allowed to be special.

That sounds harsh, but it is a fact. All through my developmental years, I would hear how horribly my brother, mother, or father had suffered during various parts of their lives (although not from my father, he rarely spoke about anything). I learned not to feel that my own ups or downs had any significance what-so-ever. No, not compared with others. Not if it was ever so.

Heaps of therapy and much introspection through writing has convinced me that I do indeed ‘deserve’. I don’t feel it, but at least I intellectually know it. And the Lifer Day celebration helps with remembering that for a day, or part of a day, whatever I can get away with.

I have a storage box in my closet containing about a score of journals. I kept hand-written journals post-rehab and pre-computer. One of the first important things that I wrote in a journal were the two words.

“I deserve”.

Thirty-four years later and I am still trying to convince myself. Family of origin issues are extremely powerful and we often continue in relationships that reinforce them. 

I need to bear in mind, that the lack of deserving anything has been a large part of the fuel for the engine of my creative brain. It is why I became a successful live performer. Standing ovations and encores cannot be denied! And they happened very regularly back then. They really did.

The audience at the i.e. Theatre of Performing Arts in Axminster, England where I broke the attendance record. There was a standing ovation and encore.  

Now, I write. My two published books grew in part from my lack of self-worth and trying to understand that I had indeed done something.

I wrote to remember the experiences and to make them real to me by sharing them. “Yes, I did do that. You can read about me doing it. And I can read about me doing it!” Weird I know, but the absolute truth.

Very proud of both books. I can feel that and I know I deserve to feel that. Sort of.

I was going to have a Lifer Day last Monday for Singing Starling. Although I did eat ice cream and chips, Lynn had (we think) a case of food poisoning. She was quite sick for a couple of days. Even though ate ice cream but I really did not enjoy it in a Lifer Pie worthy way. So, last Wednesday when James came to visit and I had Lifer Pie smash burger takeaway and Ben and Jerry’s with him. And finally, Singing Starling got Lifer Pie it deserved. And it was a Lifer for James as well. Here's a little look back on a few other Lifer Pie treats.

Richard took me to this spot on Cocos to have Lifer Pie treats. My friend Alan joined us too.

Lyndhurst Hotel to have Lifer dinner for my 700th bird Grey Grasswren

I love pecan pie bars that Lynn makes and with ice cream they are the perfect Lifer Pie

Lifer Pie dinner for Princess Parrots in Alice Springs

Lifer Pie for successful brain MRI. I did not have cancer. I continue to get a yearly MRI and all good (but no more desserts after).

That leaves Uniform Swiftlet, Red-capped Flowerpecker, and the magnificent, phenomenal. mega of all megas (MOAM) Papuan Hornbill for my future Lifer Days. Wonderful things to look forward to. But... no matter how I try, I still suck at that.

Sending love as I do ❤️