Thoughts On Age- Having Reached 70

I began writing this in the days coming up to my birthday. I am now going to finish it. I am seventy years of age. Seventy years old. Wow. I would say I did not see that coming, but that is just an expression. I did ‘see’ it coming. I have been watching as it came closer and closer like the rising tide, slowly and unstoppably. Time is a juggernaut. 

   

Older me about 2006 in a photoshoot. I moved but it still became the photo that was used on my tour posters

I have heard ad nauseam the well-meaning lie, “70 is not old.” Bullshit. At least for me, seventy IS old. No, it is not real old, but it is regular old. 

I see ageing in five stages: young, adult, older, old and lastly, real old.

Young me with my brother in 1956. Oddly, I remember that bathing suit.

Here are a few photos of the adult age me. I do not adult (the verb) well and never will, more about that to come.

    

I reckon I was about 30 here (I wear the exact same style aviator sunglasses today)

19 and in community college 

30's and drunk 24-7 living at the beach fishing and playing music

In my late teens with the ever present cigarette

Of course different people age differently and they may perceive the stages differently. There are some extremely ‘young’, fit, and healthy seventy year olds. I really am doing well in general, but I am no longer young, no, not by a long chalk. And please, please do not call me ‘young man,’ I hate that. It is akin to referring to an overweight person as ‘skinny.’ Just don’t do it.

I enjoyed my years of being ‘older.’ For me, that began at about fifty. Against all odds, I became a long distance runner in 2002 when I was 49 years old. I even completed a marathon in 2005 and I was still a smoker. I was quite good at being an older guy. It worked for me. I was fit for the first time in my life. I ran because I discovered that I loved running and I worked out because I enjoyed lifting. Without a doubt, I peaked in my 50s. I have said that I could have played Survivor in my 50s (and done very well). I rocked ‘older’. It was my best time. Here are some more photos of older me. I have lots of those.

   

My dear friend Vaughn who died just recently.

Richmond Marathon 2005

Two older guys, me and Ian in England in 2004

Now, I have made it to old. No I’m not real old yet, but I am regular old and I did not expect, nor plan, to get here. I do not believe that I will reach ‘real old.’ No way. My mileage has got to catch up with me. Forty plus years as a heavy smoker and twenty-some years of massive addiction to alcohol (and other assorted drugs at times) has got to have left a mark. Speaking of leaving a mark, I reckon my age shows. I certainly look at least seventy. Sort of like Gandalf and I am okay with that.

Last December on the very cusp of old

December 2019 getting damn close to old but a few years away

I saw a dermatologist in 2012 and she mentioned that my skin was older than I was. Like an idiot, back then, I thought that was kind of cool. I had lived an outdoor life and it showed. I was weather-beaten, rugged. I even made a joke and told her that my skin was older than I was because we were poor and my parents had gotten it used. Now I cannot believe how old some of my skin looks. It's wrinkly like crepe paper and is as thin as tissue paper. I might look rugged, but I bruise with the slightest bump or scrape. 

I know that I do not behave like a seventy year old (except for the naps, but I have taken those for years). In general I don’t even act like a ‘responsible’ adult. I would if I could but I can’t. ADHD see below. I am, to mention a few things, a hippie, leftwing, compassionate, obsessive, right-brained, creative, tattooed, birding, insecure, over-sensitive, depressed, anxious, nature loving, approval seeking person. And... I am insanely ADHD. I have learned so much about the effects that has on me. 

Yes indeed, I am what they call neurodivergent. That means I am someone whose brain processes information in a way that is not typical of most individuals. If I had only known. My god, what a difference it would have made for me in school. I am smart (IQ 143) but I had learning disabilities. Back then, I was just told that I was being lazy and that I was not working up to my potential. A lot more is known about ADHD now than even 20 years ago. Here are some internet images regarding it.

   

Emotional Dysregulation is a huge part of my ADHD. I never knew...

My neurodivergent brain has helped me to accomplish some extremely cool stuff. I was an excellent comedy and music performer. I could ad lib instantly. Yes, I am creative AF. I recorded three albums of original songs that are still being played. I am a published author of two books, but y’all know this stuff. Yes, I have benefitted from the creative side of ADHD, although the negative sides do tend to over-shadow the positives. This is not a world that is friendly or supportive to the creative brain. No, not if it was ever so.

Of course, I am very, very much 'right brained' 

Sending love as I do ❤️