Living and Birding Gratitude: Us and Them

It is not only the right-wing and left-wing living on different planets with their beliefs that is destroying our world, there are also the left-brainers vs the right-brainers. We are at a point in time where the left-brainers have literally taken over everything... our entertainment, our work, our environment, our ‘screens’ every single thing is controlled by left-brainers, not right-brainers. They make our rules That is IF we used their shit, but we do. They decide what we see, do, buy, and to a degree, think. AND how they do that is all based on ‘growth’ and wealth creation.

Sunrise over the Tasman Sea 18 June 2019 because it is beautiful.

I loathe Apple and what it has become. I despise Microsoft and what it has become. Google has changed into a thing that only markets shit as opposed to the amazing knowledge access resource that it was just ten or so years ago.

But I digress. I wish the world could truly digress. I’ve said ad nauseum that if I could reset all technology back to about 2010, I would do it in a heartbeat. Remember when Facebook was fun? Really. My god it was fun! We shared our lives. And what we saw on FB was based on what we looked at on FB and who we knew and what we liked. It was us sharing with us. I loved it.

Now... it is not us, it is them. The left-brainers are in complete control.

I am exhausted regarding my brain and its disfunction. The positives of my ADHD used to outweigh its difficulties, but with age and changing tech that is no longer the case. This world that we are in now is not hospitable to those who create to live. I create to live. Not just to ‘make a living’ but actually being able to live life. If I do not create, who I am, my very essence, will die. Which is fine because it seems that an AI program will be able to write the books like mine.

I have come to understand a whole lot more about my ADHD and the Rejection Sensitive Disorder and the Emotional Dysregulation. I am taking baby-steps toward coping better, knowing what it is does help. Creative people were writing eloquently about this before it had a name. I quoted Pearl S Buck in my second book. She nailed Emotional Dysregulation and RSD before ever they were ‘known.’

Me. Every one of those is my life. Every. Single. One.

My brain is different. It is as different as a one-legged person is from a two-legged person, as different as a deaf person is from a hearing person (I almost did not write that because it seemed over-the-top, but it is an appropriate example), as different as a colourblind person is from a non-colourblind person. But just as they learn to cope, I am working on learning to better cope.

At almost 70 (in August) I am not allowed access to psychiatrists who deal with ADHD and its accompanying nightmares. I cannot get an appointment to get diagnosed so that I have access to the medications which do help this condition. It is pure agism. I have called and tried to get appointments and so has my GP. The result at every turn has been, “no, not taking new patients in that age group.” I wish they would just say, “Fuck off. You’ll be dead soon anyway.” At least that would be honest.

My second Letter-winged Kite in Victoria 28 June 2019

I do have some future left and I have few things planned. I will go back to Christmas Island and the Cocos/Keeling Islands for two weeks next December. I will go on a week trip in the Torres Strait next early March. I will write about those in what is to be the third book of Australian birding tales.## Now I will add some photos with this post because posts need photos. Thank you if you made it this far. I don’t expect much from a post like this, but as I write, I can think about stuff. These are just my thoughts. Fun? Maybe not so much but they are genuine. Here are a few more random photos.