I began writing this in the days coming up to my birthday. I am now going to finish it. I am seventy years of age. Seventy years old. Wow. I would say I did not see that coming, but that is just an expression. I did ‘see’ it coming. I have been watching as it came closer and closer like the rising tide, slowly and unstoppably. Time is a juggernaut.
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| Older me about 2006 in a photoshoot. I moved but it still became the photo that was used on my tour posters |
I have heard ad nauseam the well-meaning lie, “70 is not old.” Bullshit. At least for me, seventy IS old. No, it is not real old, but it is regular old.
I see ageing in five stages: young, adult, older, old and lastly, real old.
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| Young me with my brother in 1956. Oddly, I remember that bathing suit. |
Here are a few photos of the adult age me. I do not adult (the verb) well and never will, more about that to come.
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| I reckon I was about 30 here (I wear the exact same style aviator sunglasses today) |
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| 19 and in community college |
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| 30's and drunk 24-7 living at the beach fishing and playing music |
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| In my late teens with the ever present cigarette |
Of course different people age differently and they may perceive the stages differently. There are some extremely ‘young’, fit, and healthy seventy year olds. I really am doing well in general, but I am no longer young, no, not by a long chalk. And please, please do not call me ‘young man,’ I hate that. It is akin to referring to an overweight person as ‘skinny.’ Just don’t do it.
I enjoyed my years of being ‘older.’ For me, that began at about fifty. Against all odds, I became a long distance runner in 2002 when I was 49 years old. I even completed a marathon in 2005 and I was still a smoker. I was quite good at being an older guy. It worked for me. I was fit for the first time in my life. I ran because I discovered that I loved running and I worked out because I enjoyed lifting. Without a doubt, I peaked in my 50s. I have said that I could have played Survivor in my 50s (and done very well). I rocked ‘older’. It was my best time. Here are some more photos of older me. I have lots of those.
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| My dear friend Vaughn who died just recently. |
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| Richmond Marathon 2005 |
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| Two older guys, me and Ian in England in 2004 |
Now, I have made it to old. No I’m not real old yet, but I am regular old and I did not expect, nor plan, to get here. I do not believe that I will reach ‘real old.’ No way. My mileage has got to catch up with me. Forty plus years as a heavy smoker and twenty-some years of massive addiction to alcohol (and other assorted drugs at times) has got to have left a mark. Speaking of leaving a mark, I reckon my age shows. I certainly look at least seventy. Sort of like Gandalf and I am okay with that.
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| Last December on the very cusp of old |
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| December 2019 getting damn close to old but a few years away |
I saw a dermatologist in 2012 and she mentioned that my skin was older than I was. Like an idiot, back then, I thought that was kind of cool. I had lived an outdoor life and it showed. I was weather-beaten, rugged. I even made a joke and told her that my skin was older than I was because we were poor and my parents had gotten it used. Now I cannot believe how old some of my skin looks. It's wrinkly like crepe paper and is as thin as tissue paper. I might look rugged, but I bruise with the slightest bump or scrape.
I know that I do not behave like a seventy year old (except for the naps, but I have taken those for years). In general I don’t even act like a ‘responsible’ adult. I would if I could but I can’t. ADHD see below. I am, to mention a few things, a hippie, leftwing, compassionate, obsessive, right-brained, creative, tattooed, birding, insecure, over-sensitive, depressed, anxious, nature loving, approval seeking person. And... I am insanely ADHD. I have learned so much about the effects that has on me.
Yes indeed, I am what they call neurodivergent. That means I am someone whose brain processes information in a way that is not typical of most individuals. If I had only known. My god, what a difference it would have made for me in school. I am smart (IQ 143) but I had learning disabilities. Back then, I was just told that I was being lazy and that I was not working up to my potential. A lot more is known about ADHD now than even 20 years ago. Here are some internet images regarding it.
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| Emotional Dysregulation is a huge part of my ADHD. I never knew... |
My neurodivergent brain has helped me to accomplish some extremely cool stuff. I was an excellent comedy and music performer. I could ad lib instantly. Yes, I am creative AF. I recorded three albums of original songs that are still being played. I am a published author of two books, but y’all know this stuff. Yes, I have benefitted from the creative side of ADHD, although the negative sides do tend to over-shadow the positives. This is not a world that is friendly or supportive to the creative brain. No, not if it was ever so.
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| Of course, I am very, very much 'right brained' |
Sending love as I do ❤️
