Us and Them

It is not only the right-wing and left-wing living on different planets with their beliefs that is destroying our world, there are also the left-brainers vs the right-brainers. We are at a point in time where the left-brainers have literally taken over everything... our entertainment, our work, our environment, our ‘screens’ every single thing is controlled by left-brainers, not right-brainers. They make our rules That is IF we used their shit, but we do. They decide what we see, do, buy, and to a degree, think. AND how they do that is all based on ‘growth’ and wealth creation. 

Sunrise over the Tasman Sea 18 June 2019 because it is beautiful.

I loathe Apple and what it has become. I despise Microsoft and what it has become. Google has changed into a thing that only markets shit as opposed to the amazing knowledge access resource that it was just ten or so years ago.

But I digress. I wish the world could truly digress. I’ve said ad nauseum that if I could reset all technology back to about 2010, I would do it in a heartbeat. Remember when Facebook was fun? Really. My god it was fun! We shared our lives. And what we saw on FB was based on what we looked at on FB and who we knew and what we liked. It was us sharing with us. I loved it.

Now... it is not us, it is them. The left-brainers are in complete control. 

I am exhausted regarding my brain and its disfunction. The positives of my ADHD used to outweigh its difficulties, but with age and changing tech that is no longer the case. This world that we are in now is not hospitable to those who create to live. I create to live. Not just to ‘make a living’ but actually being able to live life. If I do not create, who I am, my very essence, will die. Which is fine because it seems that an AI program will be able to write the books like mine. 

I have come to understand a whole lot more about my ADHD and the Rejection Sensitive Disorder and the Emotional Dysregulation. I am taking baby-steps toward coping better, knowing what it is does help. Creative people were writing eloquently about this before it had a name. I quoted Pearl S Buck in my second book. She nailed Emotional Dysregulation and RSD before ever they were ‘known.’ 

Me. Every one of those is my life. Every. Single. One.

My brain is different. It is as different as a one-legged person is from a two-legged person, as different as a deaf person is from a hearing person (I almost did not write that because it seemed over-the-top, but it is an appropriate example), as different as a colourblind person is from a non-colourblind person. But just as they learn to cope, I am working on learning to better cope.

At almost 70 (in August) I am not allowed access to psychiatrists who deal with ADHD and its accompanying nightmares. I cannot get an appointment to get diagnosed so that I have access to the medications which do help this condition. It is pure agism. I have called and tried to get appointments and so has my GP. The result at every turn has been, “no, not taking new patients in that age group.” I wish they would just say, “Fuck off. You’ll be dead soon anyway.” At least that would be honest. 

My second Letter-winged Kite in Victoria 28 June 2019

I do have some future left and I have few things planned. I will go back to Christmas Island and the Cocos/Keeling Islands for two weeks next December. I will go on a week trip in the Torres Strait next early March. I will write about those in what is to be the third book of Australian birding tales.## Now I will add some photos with this post because posts need photos. Thank you if you made it this far. I don’t expect much from a post like this, but as I write, I can think about stuff. These are just my thoughts. Fun? Maybe not so much but they are genuine. Here are a few more random photos.

David Adam's photo of a Papuan Pitta that I saw with him last January. Could very well be on the cover of the next book.

Sending love as I do ❤️

South Polar Skua Mega in Tassie

Last Wednesday, 7 June, I had a Lifer Day. A Lifer Day became a thing for me when life birds were becoming so few and far between that just having a Lifer Pie treat did not seem to be enough of a celebration. This bird was particularly well earned by us all.

South Polar Skua, photo by Bird-Spots

The tale begins with the arranging, sorting and booking of a pelagic trip out of Eaglehawk Neck, Tasmania a few months ago. I cannot express enough appreciation for Karen Dick’s organisation, knowledge, patience and support. She is also a dear, dear friend. As the time of the trip approached, so did my usual travel anxieties. I understand more about them now. I know that they are based in my neurodivergent ADHD brain chemistry. It has been almost seventy years now of dealing with it, but it doesn’t mean it’s any easier.

Fixing to leave Melbourne

My birding buddy James and I were to leave Friday 2 June for a Saturday-Sunday double header. On Wednesday, I began having gastro ‘issues’ the details of which I will not include (you’re welcome). But I was mostly okay and visited my delightful littlest granddaughter that evening. Thursday I did not feel particularly well, but I figured I was getting better. Friday we flew down to Tassie. My stomach still just was not right. I had no appetite, but managed a light dinner, got my seasickness patch on and went to bed about 10pm.

As I have written about so many times, the scopolamine patches make me feel like crap but prevent the misery of full-blown seasickness. But... this time I was already feeling unwell. About 7:15 am Saturday 3 June, we headed off shore. It was a bit breezy and becoming more and more so. The day had some very good birds. It also got much rougher and we had some rain. I had given up on photography and was concentrating on seeing birds and holding on. We had wonderfully majestic Wandering Albatrosses, Grey Petrel (always good birds), White-headed Petrels, Soft-plumaged Petrels, also all good birds and Grey-backed and Wilson’s Storm-Petrels dancing on the waves. I know I am forgetting some as I was in quite a fog during the trip. I really did not feel well. Not exactly seasick (I have been very seasick many years ago) but sick.

     

Yeah, I had felt better, hahaha

The chronology of the day is confused. After about 9am I took no photos. And it continued to get rougher. There was one point when the boat rolled sideways at such an angle that about a third of the participants were spilled onto the deck. Yes really (no injuries gratefully). I was standing and gripping the railing with both hands. I had also thrown-up. In almost 70 years of boating, a first for me, not the kind of Lifer experience I hope for. I even did it twice.

And then around noonish (I think), the star of the show glided in. Karen called out, “Skua!” and added, “feel free to convince me it's South Polar”. It arrived rather peacefully and stayed around the boat for a bit. We saw it repeatedly. Sadly, my camera was on the floor of the cabin. It had fallen there when that big wave knocked us around so badly (the camera was not damaged). Others did get some wonderful photos of this bird and I am truly grateful for their talents and their generosity in sharing them with me. Without good shots of this bird it would not have been definitively identified. But that would come later.

South Polar Skua, photo by Bird-Spots

South Polar Skua, photo by Bird-Spots

South Polar Skua, photo by Bird-Spots

South Polar Skua, photo by Jodi Osgood

South Polar Skua, photo by Jodi Osgood

We chugged back to shore, docked and headed to the motel. Longer story short, I still felt pretty crap and decided it would be mad to put a patch on and go out again on Sunday. I did not go, another first for me.

On Sunday, I just lay around our room at the Lufra and did a lot of internet research on South Polar Skua. Others in the group, particularly Andy, (his website is https://bird-spots.com/ ) and Jodi Osgood had shared their photos in our FB messenger group. I looked a lot at those images. The more I researched the more I became convinced that we had a South Polar. But I needed an expert to give it the nod. My friend Jeff Davies certainly qualifies and I shot him a message asking if he could take a look at a bird. He was travelling but got back to me Sunday night. I sent him one of Andy’s photos. 

The view out front on my quiet Sunday

I will never forget his response. It was short and oh, so sweet. He wrote simply, “Sth Polar, Cheer.” I got that message about 10pm Sunday. It took me ages to go to sleep after that. Lifer High was vibrating in my chest.

Monday morning, Karen drove James and me to the airport (more gratitude to her) and by dabout 4pm I was back at the house in Lara. Travel is what travel is. It went fine.

 

Leaving Tassie

Arriving Melbourne 

Lifer Selfie for South Polar Skua with my buddy James. We have seen a lot of Life Birds together

So, in the midst of feeling so crap on Saturday, I had gotten an excellent Lifer. As my dear friend and brilliant pelagic birder Paul Brooks said, “enjoy it buddy, that's a dead-set mega!” Thank you mate, I am enjoying it and I am grateful.

And... Lifer Pie (pecan and vanilla ice cream)

Sending love as I do ❤️