Sunday, October 27, 2024

Regarding TMI

Apropos of nothing specific, I am introducing a new acronym. It is NEI for Not Enough Information. This would be the counterpoint to the overused and sometimes annoying acronym, TMI for Too Much Information. 

Selfie at the 'old tree' yesterday which can be a part of my hikes in Wurdi Youang

We have all heard, “Whoa, TMI!” at some point (admittedly some of us more than others) and there are those who use the expression more than others. I don’t believe I have ever said, “TMI” to anyone. But some people are too fragile and precious to be real with. They don't really want to share openly and authentically. In my opinion, there are too many precious people who would rather not know and understand than to hear something that is possibly, messy and uncomfortable. 

I can’t remember the last time someone said, “TMI” to me. It’s been a while and that’s good. As you can probably tell, I can be judgy about the phrase. When someone says it to me, it works. I shut-down whatever I was going to share. Sadly, because sometimes we could really use some more information, NEI. 

Especially as we age, we all need people we can to talk openly to about stuff. People with whom we can be comfortable talking about uncomfortable, or possibly ‘delicate’ topics. The aging body has quite a few delicate topics, as does the aging brain. There are many mental/emotional topics that can be uncomfortable to talk about. At this point in my life, all of my older family loved-ones (and the loved-me-back ones) are gone. So my circle of those who truly want some genuine information from me has been shrunk to a very few. 

Both of my books wander into delicate topics and genuine feelings. And I know for a fact there are people who have appreciated my openness regarding some things. And I hugely appreciate their appreciation. I write to share. 

Looking across a paddock on yesterday's hike

There’s a popular catch phrase question, “R U OK?” It’s cute, and like TMI it can be written just in letters. But the question only has value if the person asking genuinely wants to know, even if the answer might be considered TMI. In my opinion the vast majority are not looking for an authentic answer. They just want you to say that you are okay so that then they can feel okay about you being okay and about themselves for asking. Okay?

At many times in my life, and particularly in the last few years, I have had extended periods of not being okay. If you read my writing, you are aware of my depression and anxiety issues. I have written that they are the conjoined twins of my neurodivergent brain. I have my coping mechanisms and I do get along, but in general my genuine answer to RU OK? Would be, “Not really”. But I am rarely asked. 

The phone time I got up this morning. I love my wallpaper but I did not get enough sleep  

So, my real life friends, and my internet friends (my dear e-migos) I will promise you this, should you want to tell me about, or discuss, anything at all, it is never TMI to me. In fact, sometimes it is NEI.

Sending love as always and I am okay ❤️

Tuesday, October 22, 2024

Acceptance and Gratitude Again

Acceptance and Gratitude are two of the most important words for living.

Me and a Red-footed Booby sculpture on Christmas Island Dec 2023. I've used this as a profile pic. I think it fairly well represents who I am. Gonzo birding... hell yes.

As I have written before, in practice, of the two gratitude comes more easily for me. I am so very grateful for so much that I have done in my life. I am. I feel it and I appreciate it. Acceptance is much more difficult, at times it is painfully so. I have learned that I do not have to like something to accept it. In fact, it is possible to despise something and to accept it (not easy, but possible). 

And it’s sort of funny that I accept and believe that statement as truth and yet I hate it. The Serenity Prayer is (to me) the basis, the core, of AA, recovery and just plain living, regardless of addiction issues. It is simply some of the best advise ever written. 

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” 

There you have life in the proverbial nutshell. It is a simple group of words that mean so much and yet can be so very difficult to practice in everyday living. Another little group of words is, “One day at a time.” Again, not just for recovery but for life. Another sentence that goes well with that one is, “This too shall pass.” Because that is another truth. It is a ‘chiselled in stone’ truth. Every single thing “too shall pass’. Everything ends. In the television show, Dr Gregory House said repeatedly that “everybody lies”. But also, everybody dies. Both are true.

You might as well accept it, time will kill us all. Everyone and everything. Time is the cartoon snowball rolling downhill. It starts small and then grows exponentially the further along it goes until it smashes into whatever is at the bottom of the hill.

Another often used photo of me and also with a Booby. That is a live young Red-footed Booby also on Christmas Island 2023. We took the bird to the park service. It had an injured wing.

I do not know what is at the bottom of the hill. But I know for an absolute fact that I will get there, and it will be much sooner than later. I accept that. I cannot change it.

We are getting closer to the US election and I do have genuine hope. Millions will vote Harris and Walz and blue down the ballot to begin to save that country. Together.

Sending love as I do. Stay Gonzo, there are way fewer rules than you think 💙